Gotta warn you, its honest and straight from the heart

You ever get one of those moods where you are convinced that nothing could go right? A moment or a day in your life where you just know you aren't good company for anyone, especially those who matter to you. One of those moods where you feel like you've done nothing of importance in your life and its at that time that you realize that you really don't know what matters anymore. You don't know why you work where you do, or why you live where you do, or why you do what you do. You just don't know because the realization hits you flat on your butt, you really don't know what you are doing in life or why you are doing. You know the mood. The one that sets in for no apparent reason and has you feeling like grabbing a 4 liter pail of ice cream, the biggest spoon you can find, a blanket to curl up under, a teddy bear to cling to, and the biggest tear jerker of a movie ever made because then if you cry no one wonders why. Or, as I read in a book one time, you want to grab a couple dozen eggs, go into the bathroom, and throw the eggs in your shower. (Stress relieving and practical for cleaning later on). Or maybe you are more of a doer and you just want to go outside, stand in a quiet place, and scream at the top of your lungs as loudly and as long as humanly possible. We never talk about these moods, but they hit. Or they hit me, so I assume it is normal and other people get them too. No, I don't want to talk about whats bothering me, I don't know what it is so please don't ask, I wont tell you. I can't. I just figured with my trip to Haiti less than a month away I should really start practising my honesty. I want to give from the heart descriptions while I am there so I might as well start now. Get used to baring my soul to the internet where people may, or may not, read this and care... Not gonna lie. Its gonna be really hard to click post on this one. The mood will pass. They always do, so don't worry. No one is home and typing this sorta made me feel like I was telling someone. I think I'll have a cup of tea and go to bed early(early for me at least). Be better by morning. Less than a month till Haiti. I leave 4 weeks from tomorrow. Scary scary scary thought. Have a good night.