Summer End Internship Position Report
There are times in our lives that we stumble into circumstances that are so beyond what we deserve. I feel that way about my summer at Bethel. I can honestly say that I think I just had the best summer of my life and for the first time in my life I feel like I have done a job that actually matters, that I have been challenged on a number of levels, that I have been blessed by the work I have done and more importantly, that I have been blessed by the youth that I’ve worked with.
During the summer, with the regular youth program on hiatus, Bethel runs a more casual summer program called the PLOT on Tuesday nights along with a couple of day trips and a wrap up night at the lake. My summer of working at Bethel has been a whirlwind of activity as I was in charge of the PLOT and included: planning events and activities; advertising for upcoming activities; bringing in volunteers and trying to arrange drivers; hyping the events with the youth; helping out with the sports camps; helping out with the church’s kids camp; setting up, running and cleaning up after the events and activities; and spending quality one on one time with the girls in the youth group.
Despite my initial uncertainty about working in a new field, it didn’t take long to realize that working with the youth through the church was not only something I could adapt to, but something I could excel in.
Summer End Bulletin Footnote
Well, you’ve been reading my bulletin announcements all summer long and it is time for me to sum it up and tell you how the summer with the youth went in 8 words or less. What a blessing this summer has been! There is a part of me that honestly believes I can leave it at that and enough has been said, but I do realize that in order for you to understand I am going to have to be a bit more succinct than that. So I will do my best.
This summer, I have had the opportunity to build relationships with children and youth from both the community and the church. From planning and running the Plot, organizing a couple of day outs and an overnight at the lake, helping out with the Basketball and Soccer camps, and assisting with Kids Camp, it has been a very busy summer!
As I’ve learnt many things this summer, personally, professionally, and spiritually, I don’t even know where to begin filling you in on them. I’ve learnt how to lead a group of youth through a devotion, I’ve now written and given two mini-message, I’ve learnt the value of working with people who constantly lift you up and appreciate you, I’ve learnt to make to-do lists and the importance of following them, and most importantly I’ve learnt that when you give the youth the opportunity to step up to the plate, they often will.
It has been amazing to watch the youth from Bethel help out with the camps this summer and their participation and assistance was both crucial and valuable to the success of these summer camps that we run as outreach to the community. Add the community youth who attended basketball or soccer camp and have since been out to the Plot either Tuesday nights or for a Thursday day out and consider how accepting they have been of new kids to the Plot and I have been so impressed with them and blessed by their willingness to help and their openness to accepting new youth.
After a phenomenal summer, I can honestly sit back and feel like I have been a part of something worthwhile, because having the chance to connect to the youth and remind them of the Lord’s consistent love for them is one of the most worthwhile things I have ever done. God Bless. See you next summer! =)
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Cloudy Crystal Ball
I am not waiting tables.
I am not in some foreign country.
I am not in university.
I am not living in my parents basement anymore.
Can I leave it at that? Part of me wants to. Considering my last couple of posts that goes to show how bad I suck at planning out where I am going with things =) Or perhaps it demonstrates my inability to follow through. I obviously have a very ineffective crystal ball when it comes to looking into my own future.
A short time after writing my last blog (way back in June) I got wind that my morning church was going to be looking for someone to finish out the summer youth internship position. The church has had this position for quite a while now and it had never crossed my mind to apply for it but somehow when I heard this time, something in me just clicked. So I spoke to the youth director, officially applied, and within a few days began my new job. It was a complete Godsend to find that job. (It has been a while since that wrapped up so rather than re-hashing it perhaps I’ll share my summer end footnote and a clip of my report to give a brief idea for those who haven’t seen it.) It was an experience that stretched me and blessed me and it didn’t take me long to realize that I was tired of working in a negative atmosphere, that the restaurant was sucking the happiness out of me and making me bitter, and so I quit my serving job and focused on enjoying the summer with just the one job.
I had a wonderful and amazing visit from Consu, my former Chilean exchange student. She was here for 8 months when I was in Grade 12 and then I spent two months down there the following winter(Chilean summer). The visit included time to attend my grandparents anniversary celebration- every five years moms side of the family does a big week of camping and, as always, it was epic.
I turned 25. Big deal right? Cept for me it was a big deal. It was something that I really struggled with but as it loomed closer and closer I grew more ok with it. Turned out to be an amazing weekend. The day fell on the same day as our wrap up to soccer camp, so the kids in camp were super cute to me all day, we had a huge cake, and one of my youth made me a wicked card and brownies. Had dinner with a few of my closest friends then went two stepping. Oh, and got a picture of me kissing the Stanley Cup as it happened to be at Cook that night. So stoked! Next day I had a bbq and like 30 people came out and hung out for the afternoon/evening/night enjoying dinner together, a fire, card games, football, and dancing on the spectacular dance floor that my dad made for me. Yeah it was a great weekend.
Over the course of the summer I was accepted to U of C in Edmonton for my Bachelor of Social Work (2 more years to upgrade my current diploma to the degree) but decided to turn it down and go to Nicaragua for a 7 month mission trip. However, as summer slipped through my fingers and finally I received my application, I realized that it wasn’t what I was supposed to do. So I decided not to go and got a job driving Courier for a small company that a friend of mine works for as the Edmonton Manager. First it was mostly hot shots and the morning run to Red Deer (in Red Deer by 7am) but the last month and a half I’ve been doing the full time in city route and I LOVE IT. I drive. I listen to music. I don't have to deal with cranky customers. It's fantastic.
Well after deciding I wasn’t going back to school this fall or going on mission trip, my rent free agreement with the folks was over so I called up one of my bests and moved into her apartment two weeks later. It has been about two and a half months and it is going really well (far as I know, hope she agrees!). I love being on my own, I love having a roommate, and as much as I want to end up in the country someday, for now, I love being closer to the city and my life.
I am still volunteering with the youth at my church, love it, love them, and am actually going as the female leader for their spring break Mexico mission trip. We’ve 15 youth, 7 girls and 8 boys I believe, and three of us leaders going down for about a week. Whats neat about it is it’ll be pretty much exactly ten years since I went down to Mexico as the youth. Ah- the many memories of El Paso Texas and Juarez, Mexico.
From here on forward, well good question. Keep working. Maybe find a second job. Determine if I want to go back to school for my Bachelors. Maybe back for a different field. Find a job that is more career than job. Possibly travel some more (unlikely unless it is with a work visa). Be lucky enough to find the man for me. Who knows. I sure don’t. Last time I try to guess, I wasn’t even close. But it should be fun moving forward, got to love how life constantly changes!
I am not in some foreign country.
I am not in university.
I am not living in my parents basement anymore.
Can I leave it at that? Part of me wants to. Considering my last couple of posts that goes to show how bad I suck at planning out where I am going with things =) Or perhaps it demonstrates my inability to follow through. I obviously have a very ineffective crystal ball when it comes to looking into my own future.
A short time after writing my last blog (way back in June) I got wind that my morning church was going to be looking for someone to finish out the summer youth internship position. The church has had this position for quite a while now and it had never crossed my mind to apply for it but somehow when I heard this time, something in me just clicked. So I spoke to the youth director, officially applied, and within a few days began my new job. It was a complete Godsend to find that job. (It has been a while since that wrapped up so rather than re-hashing it perhaps I’ll share my summer end footnote and a clip of my report to give a brief idea for those who haven’t seen it.) It was an experience that stretched me and blessed me and it didn’t take me long to realize that I was tired of working in a negative atmosphere, that the restaurant was sucking the happiness out of me and making me bitter, and so I quit my serving job and focused on enjoying the summer with just the one job.
I had a wonderful and amazing visit from Consu, my former Chilean exchange student. She was here for 8 months when I was in Grade 12 and then I spent two months down there the following winter(Chilean summer). The visit included time to attend my grandparents anniversary celebration- every five years moms side of the family does a big week of camping and, as always, it was epic.
I turned 25. Big deal right? Cept for me it was a big deal. It was something that I really struggled with but as it loomed closer and closer I grew more ok with it. Turned out to be an amazing weekend. The day fell on the same day as our wrap up to soccer camp, so the kids in camp were super cute to me all day, we had a huge cake, and one of my youth made me a wicked card and brownies. Had dinner with a few of my closest friends then went two stepping. Oh, and got a picture of me kissing the Stanley Cup as it happened to be at Cook that night. So stoked! Next day I had a bbq and like 30 people came out and hung out for the afternoon/evening/night enjoying dinner together, a fire, card games, football, and dancing on the spectacular dance floor that my dad made for me. Yeah it was a great weekend.
Over the course of the summer I was accepted to U of C in Edmonton for my Bachelor of Social Work (2 more years to upgrade my current diploma to the degree) but decided to turn it down and go to Nicaragua for a 7 month mission trip. However, as summer slipped through my fingers and finally I received my application, I realized that it wasn’t what I was supposed to do. So I decided not to go and got a job driving Courier for a small company that a friend of mine works for as the Edmonton Manager. First it was mostly hot shots and the morning run to Red Deer (in Red Deer by 7am) but the last month and a half I’ve been doing the full time in city route and I LOVE IT. I drive. I listen to music. I don't have to deal with cranky customers. It's fantastic.
Well after deciding I wasn’t going back to school this fall or going on mission trip, my rent free agreement with the folks was over so I called up one of my bests and moved into her apartment two weeks later. It has been about two and a half months and it is going really well (far as I know, hope she agrees!). I love being on my own, I love having a roommate, and as much as I want to end up in the country someday, for now, I love being closer to the city and my life.
I am still volunteering with the youth at my church, love it, love them, and am actually going as the female leader for their spring break Mexico mission trip. We’ve 15 youth, 7 girls and 8 boys I believe, and three of us leaders going down for about a week. Whats neat about it is it’ll be pretty much exactly ten years since I went down to Mexico as the youth. Ah- the many memories of El Paso Texas and Juarez, Mexico.
From here on forward, well good question. Keep working. Maybe find a second job. Determine if I want to go back to school for my Bachelors. Maybe back for a different field. Find a job that is more career than job. Possibly travel some more (unlikely unless it is with a work visa). Be lucky enough to find the man for me. Who knows. I sure don’t. Last time I try to guess, I wasn’t even close. But it should be fun moving forward, got to love how life constantly changes!
Thursday, June 09, 2011
Godwinks and A Date with God
I don’t believe in coincidences.
I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason and therefore coincidences are simply not possible. I don’t like believing that things happen without rhyme or reason. There has to be something more to it than that. I can’t simply accept that it occurs as a ‘fate of the universe’ or whatever you want to define coincidence by.
About a week and a half ago, I was at a friend’s housewarming party and having a late night chat with a good friend of mine. He commented that he felt like I was stressed and tense about things, that I was getting worried about too many things, and that he felt Ecuador would be good for me simply because I needed to get away for a while. (For those who don’t know, I applied to spend 6-8 months in Ecuador a few weeks ago, was waiting for a response for about 3 weeks and this conversation happened just before 2 weeks had past). He stated to me that he believed I really needed to take some time for myself, to step away from being so caught up in life. I went to bed with his words on my mind and thought about them alot the next day at work. In looking at my schedule I realized I had two days off in a row that week and decided I was going to take his words to heart sooner than intended- I began to make plans to go to Jasper for the night. Just one night. On my own. To drive up on Thursday, camp for the night, and then return on Friday in time to be at youth for 7pm.
I didn’t talk to too many people about it. Told a few people, most of whom seemed to think I was more than a little bit odd to want to drive all the way to Jasper to camp one night by myself. But I warmed to the idea very quickly. I love to drive. I love the mountains. I love when I have the time to sit and read without distractions, but I am so often distracted here. So to drive to Jasper, turn off my cell phone, camp for a night in the mountains, and to have time to spend alone, with God, without distractions... what could be a better way to spend two days off?
So? I went. I drove. I camped. I read. I reflected. I thought. I prayed. I worshipped. I relaxed.
And I loved it.
Psalm 2:12b reads ‘Blessed are all who take refuge in Him’ and essentially that is what I did. I took refuge in the silence. I came home feeling significantly more relaxed about life then I was when I left. Truth be told I hadn’t even really acknowledged that I was stressing about things. I freely admit I get distracted, that isn’t a secret, but the stress was creeping in slowly and I didn’t even realize it was there. But as I drove down the highway, stopping randomly to eat beside a river, as I sat at a campsite just outside Jasper, reading a book on Godwinks while sitting in the great outdoors, listening to the birds, bundled against the chill, and keeping my citronella candles close, as I drove down a back mountain road- so narrow it is one way based on the time you start to drive down it, as I sat beside the river near my campsite and simply read part of my Bible, I felt the stress begin to melt.
Hold on a moment. You’ve never heard of the term Godwinks? I hadn’t either before my night away, perhaps I'll call it my date with God, but the book that I read was on Godwinks- little happenings and coincidences that occur seemingly out of the blue or without reason. The author (whose name I can’t remember) wrote that “every Godwink is another reminder- another small, still message from God- that everything is going to be ok. Someday you will see everything from His perspective, and you’ll understand” and that essentially, “Godwinks are His way of sending us hugs, directly from Him”. Throughout the book he tells story after story of Godwinks- the little moments that happen (or sometimes don’t happen) right when you need them. He explained that Godwinks can occur in a variety of ways, personally, in hope, in comfort, in prayer and response to prayer, in unanswered prayers, in the moments that happen just in time, through family, and on our quests in life. Perhaps he explains them best in the conclusion where he state that “Godwinks are signposts from God, making his presence known in our everyday lives.”
What amazed me most as I was reading the book, is the logic of so much of what he was saying and the realization that my life, and likely yours, has been full of Godwinks, big and small, that have changed my life and are both small and large parts of I am where I am today. The phone call from a friend I haven’t talked to in forever just when I am feeling down, unexpected compliments, my hugs from God (explained in a previous post- Jan 2009- A God Thing), having the ability to find some peace after the death of my best friend (Aug 2009 post), an aunt and uncle unknowlingly showing up at my work when I desperately needed a pick me up, realizing in Haiti that I should be getting into Social Work not massage therapy, and there are so many more, as soon as I stop to think about them, Godwinks have been and are still, everywhere in my life.
What I didn’t realize, is that my friend telling me that he felt I needed time away was a Godwink. That my mini, one night trip to the mountains, was a Godwink. Returning home on Friday, I found myself so much more relaxed about everything. It was as if I finally allowed myself to return to living the 5 simple words that used to be such a key part of my life, I had finally remembered to “let go and let God”. Jeremiah 29:11 is one of my favourite bible verses, it was a huge strength for me after Mikes death- one of those Godwinks as a good friend of mine gave me a small little inspiration card that had this verse on it and it was something I needed so badly to remember. It reads “‘For I know the plans I have for you’, declares the Lord ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.’”
Turns out I needed to remember that. Because on Sunday Evening, I received an email from Ecuador telling me that while they appreciate my application, they feel that my lack of Spanish and my inexperience in social work practice in connection to the medical field means I am not a fit for what they are looking for at this time.
I thought I would be crushed if I received a no, I wanted to go so badly, but instead found myself almost instantly ok with it. Don’t get me wrong, I was disappointed, rejection is rejection, but I quickly accepted that if that was their decision, then it simply wasn’t supposed to be at this time, that for whatever reason, Ecuador is not where the Lord wants me right now. That maybe I wasn’t being called to go, maybe I was simply being tested to see if I would respond to the call to go. While this window of opportunity might be closing, somewhere out there, another door is opening- most likely in connection to my returning to school in the fall as I will be attending the University of Calgary’s satellite campus in Edmonton to turn my 2 year social work diploma from MacEwan into a Bachelor of Social Work Degree.
I received a crucial Godwink, at 4 in the morning, planting the seed of realization that I needed quiet time alone. I happened to have two days off in a row just days later- with no plans yet none-the-less. I took a trip and found a peace I didn’t realize I was missing, and suddenly dealing with one of the biggest “no’s” of my life is a breeze because I was able to reflect on my date with God and accept that it simply isn’t His plan for me at this time. It is just not meant to be, not part of His plan for me to actually go.
Think back on your day. Your week. Your month. Your life. Where have your Godwinks been? They are there, you just need to take the time to recognize them.I know that I am sure going to be paying better attention to the Godwinks in my life, and I hope to try give them the recognition they deserve!
I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason and therefore coincidences are simply not possible. I don’t like believing that things happen without rhyme or reason. There has to be something more to it than that. I can’t simply accept that it occurs as a ‘fate of the universe’ or whatever you want to define coincidence by.
About a week and a half ago, I was at a friend’s housewarming party and having a late night chat with a good friend of mine. He commented that he felt like I was stressed and tense about things, that I was getting worried about too many things, and that he felt Ecuador would be good for me simply because I needed to get away for a while. (For those who don’t know, I applied to spend 6-8 months in Ecuador a few weeks ago, was waiting for a response for about 3 weeks and this conversation happened just before 2 weeks had past). He stated to me that he believed I really needed to take some time for myself, to step away from being so caught up in life. I went to bed with his words on my mind and thought about them alot the next day at work. In looking at my schedule I realized I had two days off in a row that week and decided I was going to take his words to heart sooner than intended- I began to make plans to go to Jasper for the night. Just one night. On my own. To drive up on Thursday, camp for the night, and then return on Friday in time to be at youth for 7pm.
I didn’t talk to too many people about it. Told a few people, most of whom seemed to think I was more than a little bit odd to want to drive all the way to Jasper to camp one night by myself. But I warmed to the idea very quickly. I love to drive. I love the mountains. I love when I have the time to sit and read without distractions, but I am so often distracted here. So to drive to Jasper, turn off my cell phone, camp for a night in the mountains, and to have time to spend alone, with God, without distractions... what could be a better way to spend two days off?
So? I went. I drove. I camped. I read. I reflected. I thought. I prayed. I worshipped. I relaxed.
And I loved it.
Psalm 2:12b reads ‘Blessed are all who take refuge in Him’ and essentially that is what I did. I took refuge in the silence. I came home feeling significantly more relaxed about life then I was when I left. Truth be told I hadn’t even really acknowledged that I was stressing about things. I freely admit I get distracted, that isn’t a secret, but the stress was creeping in slowly and I didn’t even realize it was there. But as I drove down the highway, stopping randomly to eat beside a river, as I sat at a campsite just outside Jasper, reading a book on Godwinks while sitting in the great outdoors, listening to the birds, bundled against the chill, and keeping my citronella candles close, as I drove down a back mountain road- so narrow it is one way based on the time you start to drive down it, as I sat beside the river near my campsite and simply read part of my Bible, I felt the stress begin to melt.
Hold on a moment. You’ve never heard of the term Godwinks? I hadn’t either before my night away, perhaps I'll call it my date with God, but the book that I read was on Godwinks- little happenings and coincidences that occur seemingly out of the blue or without reason. The author (whose name I can’t remember) wrote that “every Godwink is another reminder- another small, still message from God- that everything is going to be ok. Someday you will see everything from His perspective, and you’ll understand” and that essentially, “Godwinks are His way of sending us hugs, directly from Him”. Throughout the book he tells story after story of Godwinks- the little moments that happen (or sometimes don’t happen) right when you need them. He explained that Godwinks can occur in a variety of ways, personally, in hope, in comfort, in prayer and response to prayer, in unanswered prayers, in the moments that happen just in time, through family, and on our quests in life. Perhaps he explains them best in the conclusion where he state that “Godwinks are signposts from God, making his presence known in our everyday lives.”
What amazed me most as I was reading the book, is the logic of so much of what he was saying and the realization that my life, and likely yours, has been full of Godwinks, big and small, that have changed my life and are both small and large parts of I am where I am today. The phone call from a friend I haven’t talked to in forever just when I am feeling down, unexpected compliments, my hugs from God (explained in a previous post- Jan 2009- A God Thing), having the ability to find some peace after the death of my best friend (Aug 2009 post), an aunt and uncle unknowlingly showing up at my work when I desperately needed a pick me up, realizing in Haiti that I should be getting into Social Work not massage therapy, and there are so many more, as soon as I stop to think about them, Godwinks have been and are still, everywhere in my life.
What I didn’t realize, is that my friend telling me that he felt I needed time away was a Godwink. That my mini, one night trip to the mountains, was a Godwink. Returning home on Friday, I found myself so much more relaxed about everything. It was as if I finally allowed myself to return to living the 5 simple words that used to be such a key part of my life, I had finally remembered to “let go and let God”. Jeremiah 29:11 is one of my favourite bible verses, it was a huge strength for me after Mikes death- one of those Godwinks as a good friend of mine gave me a small little inspiration card that had this verse on it and it was something I needed so badly to remember. It reads “‘For I know the plans I have for you’, declares the Lord ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.’”
Turns out I needed to remember that. Because on Sunday Evening, I received an email from Ecuador telling me that while they appreciate my application, they feel that my lack of Spanish and my inexperience in social work practice in connection to the medical field means I am not a fit for what they are looking for at this time.
I thought I would be crushed if I received a no, I wanted to go so badly, but instead found myself almost instantly ok with it. Don’t get me wrong, I was disappointed, rejection is rejection, but I quickly accepted that if that was their decision, then it simply wasn’t supposed to be at this time, that for whatever reason, Ecuador is not where the Lord wants me right now. That maybe I wasn’t being called to go, maybe I was simply being tested to see if I would respond to the call to go. While this window of opportunity might be closing, somewhere out there, another door is opening- most likely in connection to my returning to school in the fall as I will be attending the University of Calgary’s satellite campus in Edmonton to turn my 2 year social work diploma from MacEwan into a Bachelor of Social Work Degree.
I received a crucial Godwink, at 4 in the morning, planting the seed of realization that I needed quiet time alone. I happened to have two days off in a row just days later- with no plans yet none-the-less. I took a trip and found a peace I didn’t realize I was missing, and suddenly dealing with one of the biggest “no’s” of my life is a breeze because I was able to reflect on my date with God and accept that it simply isn’t His plan for me at this time. It is just not meant to be, not part of His plan for me to actually go.
Think back on your day. Your week. Your month. Your life. Where have your Godwinks been? They are there, you just need to take the time to recognize them.I know that I am sure going to be paying better attention to the Godwinks in my life, and I hope to try give them the recognition they deserve!
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Almost Diploma Time! Problem is, THEN WHAT!
Guess what!?!?
In just a few short weeks (even shorter when I think of the number of assignments and the big final that are yet to come, but that’s besides the point), I will wrap up my second year as a social work student and prepare to receive my Diploma in Social Work at convocation in June. Yep. I am FINALLY going to get a piece of paper that says I have been to school. I started at Kings in fall 2005, went on and off, mostly part time, while I worked or travelled in the process and in between, entered Macewan’s Social Work Program in fall 2009, and in just a few weeks will finally be done and have a piece of paper with a stamp and a seal that I will proudly hang on… my bedroom wall?
Big question now is the one I have been asking since I was like 14. Then what? What do I want to do with my life? What do I want to be? 10 years later and I’m still asking the same old question. And truth is, I am still mostly without answers. I honestly thought that my two years in the program would give me a bit more direction and while I admit I have a few more ideas, I am no more certain that I was 2 years ago, heck I don’t even think I’m much more certain than I was 10 years ago when I started to stress about it!
So, at loss for what to do next, I applied for the University of Calgary’s satellite campus in Edmonton. The thing about this campus is that it is supposed to be fairly competitive to get in. They take about 50 students, 25 university graduates and 25 diploma transfer students. So of anyone who has received a social work diploma in the last 5 years, full time or part time, 25 get in. Now I realize that they aren’t all applying, but still a scary thought. What’s the big deal you ask? Why would you need a degree anyways? Well the most obvious answer is money, as with anything else, the more educated you are, the more money you make. Next is that with a number of agencies, they simply don’t hire diploma graduates- unless you have a long history of field related experience. Other agencies, such as Children Services, just prefer the degree. To apply there you either need a degree or a diploma and a minimum of 3 years of field experience. And finally, Alberta is the only province that allows people in possession of a diploma to be recognized as Registered Social Workers- and your best bet is to be registered as a social worker. Other provinces, in the States, and even internationally (I believe), while they might recognize you have some education in the field, you can’t register which makes it hard to practice within a lot of the positions.
What’s the big deal about that then? Well, I don’t know that I’m going to be in Alberta the rest of my life. At this point, I am 24 and single and have no idea where life is going to take me. I’ve looked at doing international work, at international missions. When I do find the man that God has in store for me, I don’t know where our life will take us, whether within Canada or elsewhere in the world even. So the degree just seems like a logical step.
Then what is the problem? Well, at first I was just worried that I wouldn’t get accepted. My application was dropped off at the Edmonton office on the final day of early admissions. Realistically do I have a shot, sure of course I do. But my biggest concern is that when it comes down to practical experience, I don’t have much of it. A number of my classmates have been working in Shelters, group homes, or other agencies for sometime now. People took jobs at their placements from last year, or kept with them as volunteers. I have been waiting tables for 6 ½ years. So yeah, I am worried that I wont get in. So I started to think that maybe I need a back up plan. Well, somewhere along the way, my thoughts about the backup plan have begun to overcome my thoughts to go to school. Long story short, at this point, I am actually quite certain that I don’t want to go back to school in the fall. First thing to point out is that I am very aware that I tend to teeter totter on these issues, so this could change, but after a lot of thought and a number of discussions, I honestly think taking a year off is best for me. So what am I going to do with that year?
Well, I am currently researching a number of longer term mission opportunities. As in 6-12 months long. I am getting more and more excited about the prospect of going, although I am fast running out of time in deciding where I want to go. It just seems to make sense for me to go now. I live at home, so don’t need to worry about rent or bills or a house sitter. I’m single so it is easy to up and go (not that I wont miss family and friends of course). Any sort of overseas work will look fantastic on a resume so if I don’t get into U of C this year, I’d be a shoo in for next year and if I do get accepted, and they allow me to differ the acceptance, then it’ll just look great on a resume when I start looking for work in the field, either locally, nationally, or even internationally. There are so many little things that just make it seem to be the right thing to do, but there is one problem. I have no idea where I want to go or what I want to do. There are a number of different agencies I spoke with at Mission Fest that I am researching, but at this point nothing has leapt off the page at me. So as I wrap this post up, have to get back to my placement, I ask a favour of those who are reading this and have a few moments to spare. Would you pray for me? Pray that I might find the right mission for me? Pray that I might be led to the right agency, that the application goes well, and that my hopeful September departure date could become a reality? Pray that once I find an agency and get accepted, that fundraising goes smoothly? Pray that wherever I go I might be a blessing and find a place that has a need for all it is that I have to offer? And most of all Pray that I might have the confidence in knowing this is something that God wants me to do, not just something I’ve decided to do? It isn’t like it was with going to Haiti, then I was thinking maybe, found the agency and just knew. This time I strongly feel I need to go somewhere, I just have no idea where, or for what, or even really for how long.
Thanks for following along. Thanks for the few moments of prayer if you were able to do so. I promise I’ll keep you posted if there are changes. I hope that means I can fill you in soon!
In just a few short weeks (even shorter when I think of the number of assignments and the big final that are yet to come, but that’s besides the point), I will wrap up my second year as a social work student and prepare to receive my Diploma in Social Work at convocation in June. Yep. I am FINALLY going to get a piece of paper that says I have been to school. I started at Kings in fall 2005, went on and off, mostly part time, while I worked or travelled in the process and in between, entered Macewan’s Social Work Program in fall 2009, and in just a few weeks will finally be done and have a piece of paper with a stamp and a seal that I will proudly hang on… my bedroom wall?
Big question now is the one I have been asking since I was like 14. Then what? What do I want to do with my life? What do I want to be? 10 years later and I’m still asking the same old question. And truth is, I am still mostly without answers. I honestly thought that my two years in the program would give me a bit more direction and while I admit I have a few more ideas, I am no more certain that I was 2 years ago, heck I don’t even think I’m much more certain than I was 10 years ago when I started to stress about it!
So, at loss for what to do next, I applied for the University of Calgary’s satellite campus in Edmonton. The thing about this campus is that it is supposed to be fairly competitive to get in. They take about 50 students, 25 university graduates and 25 diploma transfer students. So of anyone who has received a social work diploma in the last 5 years, full time or part time, 25 get in. Now I realize that they aren’t all applying, but still a scary thought. What’s the big deal you ask? Why would you need a degree anyways? Well the most obvious answer is money, as with anything else, the more educated you are, the more money you make. Next is that with a number of agencies, they simply don’t hire diploma graduates- unless you have a long history of field related experience. Other agencies, such as Children Services, just prefer the degree. To apply there you either need a degree or a diploma and a minimum of 3 years of field experience. And finally, Alberta is the only province that allows people in possession of a diploma to be recognized as Registered Social Workers- and your best bet is to be registered as a social worker. Other provinces, in the States, and even internationally (I believe), while they might recognize you have some education in the field, you can’t register which makes it hard to practice within a lot of the positions.
What’s the big deal about that then? Well, I don’t know that I’m going to be in Alberta the rest of my life. At this point, I am 24 and single and have no idea where life is going to take me. I’ve looked at doing international work, at international missions. When I do find the man that God has in store for me, I don’t know where our life will take us, whether within Canada or elsewhere in the world even. So the degree just seems like a logical step.
Then what is the problem? Well, at first I was just worried that I wouldn’t get accepted. My application was dropped off at the Edmonton office on the final day of early admissions. Realistically do I have a shot, sure of course I do. But my biggest concern is that when it comes down to practical experience, I don’t have much of it. A number of my classmates have been working in Shelters, group homes, or other agencies for sometime now. People took jobs at their placements from last year, or kept with them as volunteers. I have been waiting tables for 6 ½ years. So yeah, I am worried that I wont get in. So I started to think that maybe I need a back up plan. Well, somewhere along the way, my thoughts about the backup plan have begun to overcome my thoughts to go to school. Long story short, at this point, I am actually quite certain that I don’t want to go back to school in the fall. First thing to point out is that I am very aware that I tend to teeter totter on these issues, so this could change, but after a lot of thought and a number of discussions, I honestly think taking a year off is best for me. So what am I going to do with that year?
Well, I am currently researching a number of longer term mission opportunities. As in 6-12 months long. I am getting more and more excited about the prospect of going, although I am fast running out of time in deciding where I want to go. It just seems to make sense for me to go now. I live at home, so don’t need to worry about rent or bills or a house sitter. I’m single so it is easy to up and go (not that I wont miss family and friends of course). Any sort of overseas work will look fantastic on a resume so if I don’t get into U of C this year, I’d be a shoo in for next year and if I do get accepted, and they allow me to differ the acceptance, then it’ll just look great on a resume when I start looking for work in the field, either locally, nationally, or even internationally. There are so many little things that just make it seem to be the right thing to do, but there is one problem. I have no idea where I want to go or what I want to do. There are a number of different agencies I spoke with at Mission Fest that I am researching, but at this point nothing has leapt off the page at me. So as I wrap this post up, have to get back to my placement, I ask a favour of those who are reading this and have a few moments to spare. Would you pray for me? Pray that I might find the right mission for me? Pray that I might be led to the right agency, that the application goes well, and that my hopeful September departure date could become a reality? Pray that once I find an agency and get accepted, that fundraising goes smoothly? Pray that wherever I go I might be a blessing and find a place that has a need for all it is that I have to offer? And most of all Pray that I might have the confidence in knowing this is something that God wants me to do, not just something I’ve decided to do? It isn’t like it was with going to Haiti, then I was thinking maybe, found the agency and just knew. This time I strongly feel I need to go somewhere, I just have no idea where, or for what, or even really for how long.
Thanks for following along. Thanks for the few moments of prayer if you were able to do so. I promise I’ll keep you posted if there are changes. I hope that means I can fill you in soon!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Prayer, Disconnection, and Breakforth 2011
Disclaimer: It speaks on spirituality. I’m not looking to debate or offend or preach or anything. I’m simply looking to give testament to where I am at and some of the process that got me here. My beliefs are part of who I am, all I ask is you accept it as that.
Breakforth Canada was this last weekend. Already there some of you might be scratching your head wondering what Breakforth is. With several thousand people in attendance and it is pretty much like having 4 massive church services in a weekend, alongside of 5 breakout sessions with renowned speakers and authors on a vast number of topics. While it is somewhat designed to be a weekend of spiritual growth and renewal for members of the Christian community, it is (as far as I know) non denominational and not only for believers. It is open to all and like I said, covers a vast number of topics. It was my third time attending and I still absolutely love it. Already when people ask me how my weekend went, I struggle in knowing what to say because I honestly find myself unable to appropriately sum it up in a few words and explain it sufficiently. The simplest way is to say that I think I now have peace where I didn’t know there was turmoil. That I think I have found prayer again and with that I so hope I have found my relationship with Jesus again as I truly believe that prayer is one of the keys to a relationship with my Lord.
I suppose to fully explain what this weekend was for me I do have to go back a little ways- and I should warn you that it might not really make sense to you how it all fits together but this is how it worked for me.
I’ve been struggling with my faith. I know it happens, that we’ve ups and downs in our walk with Christ, and it so happens that my current down has been a long one. Ever since Mike died I’ve had a lot of anger in me at God (which I felt guilty about at first, until I was reminded that anger is ok because it is an honest emotion and God wants us to have honest emotions in our relationship with him. Look at the Psalms! David is angry in them, but that doesn’t lessen the Lord’s love for him) and have had serious trouble connecting to Him. I still believed, that He loved me, that He died for me and rose for me, that my sins are washed away because of His love for me. That I have never questioned. But there was anger and a loss of intimacy that is such a valuable part of being a Christian.
In my social work program, one of the big things they talk about is how important it is for us to be ok with our own issues before we begin to deal with other peoples issues. If my parents were divorced when I was 8 and I’m not over that yet, how can I help someone deal with their own divorce or their parents divorce? Well because of this, most social work students have almost a hyper self awareness, we sit very in tune with our emotions. I heard something in one of my classes that was a kick in the butt for me and after struggling for a few days I called our youth pastor and set up a time to go in and chat with him.
Two days before our meeting I decided to attend a young adults service at a church in the south side that I’ve been going on and off to since the 11th grade (which is like 8 years ago!!!). I had been avoiding it as Mike and I used to go together. That service he spoke of atrophy and the importance of doing things even after we sometimes feel like we don’t want to be doing it any longer. Two days later I sat in front of my youth pastor and told him that I had fully intended to quit doing youth following the upcoming retreat but realized at that service that I needed to see out the year at least. He asked why and I explained to him my lack of a relationship with God and my lack of prayer life. I admitted that over the last 6 months I could probably count on one hand the number of times I’d prayed, and one of those was because on the last retreat we had to pray with the kids from our car. I told him that I didn’t think I was a good example because how can I set an example when I can’t even boast of a strong relationship with Christ. I then opened up and explained that it was more than just my faith, that I didn’t think I could boast of a strong relationship anywhere, that I felt distant from everything and didn’t know what to do. As I talked, he listened and then did what I was unable to do. He labelled it. He summed up my feelings into one word. Disconnected. It was the perfect word. Disconnected from God. Disconnected from my friends. Disconnected from my family. I simply had pulled in and stopped allowing myself to make connections to others.
As soon as the word was on it, it was like I had already turned around. I liken it to the first step in an addiction, admitting the addiction. I put a word on it and realized what I’d been doing. Good friends I had before Mike’s death had been shut out. I would make new friends, hang out and get to know them, but as soon as they really started to matter, I would simply stop contacting them so that they wouldn’t get past that wall I was beginning to build. I realized that I had made some major mistakes in my friendships and to be honest am still not sure I can repair them all. I realized I needed to change how I approached my family life. And most importantly, I had to get reconnected to God. He then told me that the coming weekend I would have to pray with my cabin, just in case I wanted the heads up- and I so appreciated it. He explained that sometimes the most important thing we can do when we are struggling with our faith is to be honest about it to others. I left our meeting with much to think about.
I did pray that weekend. But what is even more amazing is I felt somewhat comfortable doing it. I’ve never been great at prayer, especially aloud, then lost it almost completely within a short time after the burial. Yet somehow, at the retreat, I was comfortable praying with my cabin. I attributed it to having 5 days to think about it, but it stuck. Since then (early Nov ’10?), things have gotten a bit better, I honestly would almost call that a turning point for me. I’ve been happier. I’ve begun singing again. I’m attending the church on the southside more regularly. And while I can’t claim I’m praying daily or reading my bible consistently, I have prayed and for me that is a mountain climbed.
Then this weekend happened. I don’t know if I can explain it very well but I’ll try. It started with a fantastic speaker and some great worship on Fri night, but it was a struggle for me because of memories and I felt claustrophobic in the midst of a section. So Sat morning I joined some other friends sitting in an area no so central. Morning session was great again, speaker and worship. Then it was off to break outs. Now the breakout sessions are picked when we register in like October, so I can’t remember at all what I’m headed into anymore. Turns out my first two are same guy. Interesting. At the first session he spoke of the importance of making the time to meet with Jesus. He explained that prayer is a conversation, not a lecture (a phrase I’ve heard before but no less powerful to be reminded of it). Then he explained a method of meeting Jesus at our own personal place of prayer so that we can sit with him and talk. I was highly intrigued (I took some serious notes on the prayer steps, ask me about it if you want!). Second session, after lunch, he tells us that he is going to break down the two things that cause us pain. The first is the lies that we believe. After speaking about it for a bit he invites us to pray with him, and to go to our meeting place and ask Jesus what lie we’ve been believing about ourselves. He tells us to take this lie, to take it to the cross, to lay it at the foot of the cross and ask Jesus to help us be rid of it at its roots, the roots going to whatever event planted the lie in the first place. As he wraps up the prayer, looks up, sees a woman in tears and straight out begins to talk to her. He asks her if she is ok, if she found her lie and if she was able to bring it to the cross. She says no and starts to cry harder. He then walks her through the steps again, him on stage, her in her seat in the middle of the room, and asks her if she has put it at the foot of the cross. Yes, she has she says. Can she see the banner of what God has to say to you? No she answers, she can’t see anything. Moments later, another attendee raises their hand and states that they can see this woman’s banner (meaning a message from God) and asks if they can say it. Well over the next number of minutes, more than 30 people piped up and told this woman what God had written on her banner, all of them falling into a few specific themes so there was no doubt that they were being used as messengers to get it across to her. Finally the speaker looks at his watch and states, well, I was supposed to talk about the other cause of pain, but God has hijacked this session again so I guess we’ll leave it there. It was a powerful prayer moment.
I went to half of my next session, met up with the other youth leaders for dinner then a girlfriend and I joined my other friends (a couple of guys I met at my first Breakforth actually) again for the after dinner session and concert. After the session (which I loved the worship but didn’t like the speaker at all. Scare tactics are not ok in my book), I turned to my girlfriend and said to her, I really feel like you should be prayed for, can we go down to the prayer room. I’ve known her for years and have never said something like that to her before. She looks at me and says, I don’t really like being prayed over, but as long as you come with me ok. So we went downstairs, sat down with a prayer volunteer and she was prayed for. However as we left the room I really felt it wasn’t enough yet so I bit the bullet and said to her “I don’t know if that was what you were looking for, and I’m not comfortable really doing it and I know you aren’t comfortable getting it done, but can I pray for you as well? I really feel like there is more that needs to be said”. Somehow she agreed and we sat down, and after a bit of awkwardness on my part, I did just that. By the end of it, I had a certain peace that had been growing in me all day. It just felt good. So we went upstairs, enjoyed the concert (so good- Paul Baloche, Brian Doerksen, and a couple others that were great too!) and called it a night.
Then today (almost done I promise) I go to my first session of the day and am uncomfortable as soon as I walk into the room. The session hasn’t started yet, but there are about half a dozen people around the room standing there praying. I nearly turned around but made myself sit, there had to be a reason I picked it so I had to give it at least 5-10 mins. Well when it starts he explains that the session is about taking some time with Jesus and if we need to write while we do it, or draw then we should. Well imagine my intrigue at the thought of writing my prayer. Not so comfortable with prayer. Really comfortable with writing (as you can see), well lets try it... I can honestly say that by the end of that hour, I felt more peace than I have felt in a year and a half, likely longer. I felt like I had sat and bared myself to my Lord and it was an amazing feeling. I left the session feeling like the weight that had started to shift in November and start to shake yesterday, it had finally fallen. I felt like I had found prayer. Like I had found my relationship with God again. And with that, like I had begun to rediscover a contentment I had forgotten. Like I had taken a step towards being comfortable with who I am again. Like I had just taken a major leap towards becoming the person that I want to be. The last breakout was pretty good, and the final main session a reminder that the rough times in our lives build us up to be better people, led into by some amazing worship again.
So how was my weekend? Well, like I said above, I found peace where I didn’t realize there was turmoil. I found prayer when I had nearly given up on it. I found contentment I had forgotten existed. I found friendships that I’ve taken for granted, and realized others that, to be honest, I’ve likely wasted time on trying. I found Laura and have begun to bring her back. I dare say, my weekend, was great. It was a gift.
Breakforth Canada was this last weekend. Already there some of you might be scratching your head wondering what Breakforth is. With several thousand people in attendance and it is pretty much like having 4 massive church services in a weekend, alongside of 5 breakout sessions with renowned speakers and authors on a vast number of topics. While it is somewhat designed to be a weekend of spiritual growth and renewal for members of the Christian community, it is (as far as I know) non denominational and not only for believers. It is open to all and like I said, covers a vast number of topics. It was my third time attending and I still absolutely love it. Already when people ask me how my weekend went, I struggle in knowing what to say because I honestly find myself unable to appropriately sum it up in a few words and explain it sufficiently. The simplest way is to say that I think I now have peace where I didn’t know there was turmoil. That I think I have found prayer again and with that I so hope I have found my relationship with Jesus again as I truly believe that prayer is one of the keys to a relationship with my Lord.
I suppose to fully explain what this weekend was for me I do have to go back a little ways- and I should warn you that it might not really make sense to you how it all fits together but this is how it worked for me.
I’ve been struggling with my faith. I know it happens, that we’ve ups and downs in our walk with Christ, and it so happens that my current down has been a long one. Ever since Mike died I’ve had a lot of anger in me at God (which I felt guilty about at first, until I was reminded that anger is ok because it is an honest emotion and God wants us to have honest emotions in our relationship with him. Look at the Psalms! David is angry in them, but that doesn’t lessen the Lord’s love for him) and have had serious trouble connecting to Him. I still believed, that He loved me, that He died for me and rose for me, that my sins are washed away because of His love for me. That I have never questioned. But there was anger and a loss of intimacy that is such a valuable part of being a Christian.
In my social work program, one of the big things they talk about is how important it is for us to be ok with our own issues before we begin to deal with other peoples issues. If my parents were divorced when I was 8 and I’m not over that yet, how can I help someone deal with their own divorce or their parents divorce? Well because of this, most social work students have almost a hyper self awareness, we sit very in tune with our emotions. I heard something in one of my classes that was a kick in the butt for me and after struggling for a few days I called our youth pastor and set up a time to go in and chat with him.
Two days before our meeting I decided to attend a young adults service at a church in the south side that I’ve been going on and off to since the 11th grade (which is like 8 years ago!!!). I had been avoiding it as Mike and I used to go together. That service he spoke of atrophy and the importance of doing things even after we sometimes feel like we don’t want to be doing it any longer. Two days later I sat in front of my youth pastor and told him that I had fully intended to quit doing youth following the upcoming retreat but realized at that service that I needed to see out the year at least. He asked why and I explained to him my lack of a relationship with God and my lack of prayer life. I admitted that over the last 6 months I could probably count on one hand the number of times I’d prayed, and one of those was because on the last retreat we had to pray with the kids from our car. I told him that I didn’t think I was a good example because how can I set an example when I can’t even boast of a strong relationship with Christ. I then opened up and explained that it was more than just my faith, that I didn’t think I could boast of a strong relationship anywhere, that I felt distant from everything and didn’t know what to do. As I talked, he listened and then did what I was unable to do. He labelled it. He summed up my feelings into one word. Disconnected. It was the perfect word. Disconnected from God. Disconnected from my friends. Disconnected from my family. I simply had pulled in and stopped allowing myself to make connections to others.
As soon as the word was on it, it was like I had already turned around. I liken it to the first step in an addiction, admitting the addiction. I put a word on it and realized what I’d been doing. Good friends I had before Mike’s death had been shut out. I would make new friends, hang out and get to know them, but as soon as they really started to matter, I would simply stop contacting them so that they wouldn’t get past that wall I was beginning to build. I realized that I had made some major mistakes in my friendships and to be honest am still not sure I can repair them all. I realized I needed to change how I approached my family life. And most importantly, I had to get reconnected to God. He then told me that the coming weekend I would have to pray with my cabin, just in case I wanted the heads up- and I so appreciated it. He explained that sometimes the most important thing we can do when we are struggling with our faith is to be honest about it to others. I left our meeting with much to think about.
I did pray that weekend. But what is even more amazing is I felt somewhat comfortable doing it. I’ve never been great at prayer, especially aloud, then lost it almost completely within a short time after the burial. Yet somehow, at the retreat, I was comfortable praying with my cabin. I attributed it to having 5 days to think about it, but it stuck. Since then (early Nov ’10?), things have gotten a bit better, I honestly would almost call that a turning point for me. I’ve been happier. I’ve begun singing again. I’m attending the church on the southside more regularly. And while I can’t claim I’m praying daily or reading my bible consistently, I have prayed and for me that is a mountain climbed.
Then this weekend happened. I don’t know if I can explain it very well but I’ll try. It started with a fantastic speaker and some great worship on Fri night, but it was a struggle for me because of memories and I felt claustrophobic in the midst of a section. So Sat morning I joined some other friends sitting in an area no so central. Morning session was great again, speaker and worship. Then it was off to break outs. Now the breakout sessions are picked when we register in like October, so I can’t remember at all what I’m headed into anymore. Turns out my first two are same guy. Interesting. At the first session he spoke of the importance of making the time to meet with Jesus. He explained that prayer is a conversation, not a lecture (a phrase I’ve heard before but no less powerful to be reminded of it). Then he explained a method of meeting Jesus at our own personal place of prayer so that we can sit with him and talk. I was highly intrigued (I took some serious notes on the prayer steps, ask me about it if you want!). Second session, after lunch, he tells us that he is going to break down the two things that cause us pain. The first is the lies that we believe. After speaking about it for a bit he invites us to pray with him, and to go to our meeting place and ask Jesus what lie we’ve been believing about ourselves. He tells us to take this lie, to take it to the cross, to lay it at the foot of the cross and ask Jesus to help us be rid of it at its roots, the roots going to whatever event planted the lie in the first place. As he wraps up the prayer, looks up, sees a woman in tears and straight out begins to talk to her. He asks her if she is ok, if she found her lie and if she was able to bring it to the cross. She says no and starts to cry harder. He then walks her through the steps again, him on stage, her in her seat in the middle of the room, and asks her if she has put it at the foot of the cross. Yes, she has she says. Can she see the banner of what God has to say to you? No she answers, she can’t see anything. Moments later, another attendee raises their hand and states that they can see this woman’s banner (meaning a message from God) and asks if they can say it. Well over the next number of minutes, more than 30 people piped up and told this woman what God had written on her banner, all of them falling into a few specific themes so there was no doubt that they were being used as messengers to get it across to her. Finally the speaker looks at his watch and states, well, I was supposed to talk about the other cause of pain, but God has hijacked this session again so I guess we’ll leave it there. It was a powerful prayer moment.
I went to half of my next session, met up with the other youth leaders for dinner then a girlfriend and I joined my other friends (a couple of guys I met at my first Breakforth actually) again for the after dinner session and concert. After the session (which I loved the worship but didn’t like the speaker at all. Scare tactics are not ok in my book), I turned to my girlfriend and said to her, I really feel like you should be prayed for, can we go down to the prayer room. I’ve known her for years and have never said something like that to her before. She looks at me and says, I don’t really like being prayed over, but as long as you come with me ok. So we went downstairs, sat down with a prayer volunteer and she was prayed for. However as we left the room I really felt it wasn’t enough yet so I bit the bullet and said to her “I don’t know if that was what you were looking for, and I’m not comfortable really doing it and I know you aren’t comfortable getting it done, but can I pray for you as well? I really feel like there is more that needs to be said”. Somehow she agreed and we sat down, and after a bit of awkwardness on my part, I did just that. By the end of it, I had a certain peace that had been growing in me all day. It just felt good. So we went upstairs, enjoyed the concert (so good- Paul Baloche, Brian Doerksen, and a couple others that were great too!) and called it a night.
Then today (almost done I promise) I go to my first session of the day and am uncomfortable as soon as I walk into the room. The session hasn’t started yet, but there are about half a dozen people around the room standing there praying. I nearly turned around but made myself sit, there had to be a reason I picked it so I had to give it at least 5-10 mins. Well when it starts he explains that the session is about taking some time with Jesus and if we need to write while we do it, or draw then we should. Well imagine my intrigue at the thought of writing my prayer. Not so comfortable with prayer. Really comfortable with writing (as you can see), well lets try it... I can honestly say that by the end of that hour, I felt more peace than I have felt in a year and a half, likely longer. I felt like I had sat and bared myself to my Lord and it was an amazing feeling. I left the session feeling like the weight that had started to shift in November and start to shake yesterday, it had finally fallen. I felt like I had found prayer. Like I had found my relationship with God again. And with that, like I had begun to rediscover a contentment I had forgotten. Like I had taken a step towards being comfortable with who I am again. Like I had just taken a major leap towards becoming the person that I want to be. The last breakout was pretty good, and the final main session a reminder that the rough times in our lives build us up to be better people, led into by some amazing worship again.
So how was my weekend? Well, like I said above, I found peace where I didn’t realize there was turmoil. I found prayer when I had nearly given up on it. I found contentment I had forgotten existed. I found friendships that I’ve taken for granted, and realized others that, to be honest, I’ve likely wasted time on trying. I found Laura and have begun to bring her back. I dare say, my weekend, was great. It was a gift.
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