Those of you on my facebook already know this, but my uncle is sick. He was diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer and it has already spread to his liver so medically speaking there is not much that can be done other than make him comfortable. It the other healing power that has me a little confused.
The natural instinct upon hearing this is to pray for healing. For the miracle that only God can perform, for the instant and medically inexplicable healing that Bible readers and other faithful know He is capable of.
The other option is to pray for peace. For calmness. For understanding. For acceptance. For strength. And all of those are to deal with the worst. With the impending passing.
Ok. So I know technically that you can pray for both, there is nothing wrong with it, but I am confused as to what is 'right'. I mean, I've always thought that we are supposed to accept God's will, that we are called to willingly accept His plan for us. But at the same time, there is alot out there about the power of prayer and how He will sometimes leave His intended course for another path, perhaps in the sense of healing someone.
So what is 'proper' to pray for? Healing or peace? I feel like I am contradicting myself asking both, but will continue to do so. Just feels like a conundrum.
My prayers and thoughts and love are with my uncle and his family. If you have a few to spare, I'd appreciate if you'd send some in his honor as well. Thanks.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Friday, February 06, 2009
A God Thing
So I realize that the title alone might be a struggle for some people. But sometimes, it really is that simple, that there are moments, events, days, that are God moments, more so than usual of course.. But anyways.
Breakforth 2009 was a God thing. Literally, by the end of the weekend, I feel as if I had seen Him everywhere and had spoken with Him on multiple occasions. Huh? Let me explain.
Breakforth is a large annual conference held in Edmonton. It focus's on many areas both within and outside of the church, worship, leadership, working with kids, poverty, and on and on. This year, more than 7000 ppl attended and were fortunate to have not only great breakout sessions, but some amazing speakers in the main sessions as well. Not to mention some unbelievable worship! (Michael W Smith, Brian Doerksen, Paul Baloche, Rita Baloche, Mercy Me, Brenton Brown, just to name a few). If you are curious, check out their website http://www.new-creation.net/ .
Anyways, so one of the speakers early in the conference really hit home with me. He was talking about how prayer shouldn't be a speech at God. It shouldn't be all about us talking to Him and Him simply listening and then filling our requests. No, it should be so much more. He explained that it should be a conversation. Huh? A conversation? With God? Ya, I thought it was pretty out there too, but wow have I learnt better!
This speaker (sorry, I can't recal what one it was, perhaps John Eldridge?) explained how the best way to converse with God is to completely empty your mind, don't think about the phone call you made to your sister last night, or that bill you have to mail tomorrow, just empty your mind and focus on God. Then comes the hard part, listen. Sure you can still pray, say your piece, get it all out there, but when you are done, sit and wait to see if He has anything to say back. Or ask Him a question, something simple, like 'what do you want to say to me'. That was His example, and it seems that alot of the time, he simply hears God responding with 'I Love You'. The speaker went on to say that part of being a Christian is having heard God's voice, so naturally the rest of the weekend would be filled with moments of listening.
I will freely admit, at first, I thought he was nuts. I mean, you can't hear God. But why not? He has done alot of pretty amazing things, talking to someone is cakewalk. But I gave it a try, needlessly it seemed.
Then something changed. And this is hard for me to share on here, but I really feel like I need to get it all out there. On Saturday night, I was at the Brenton Brown concert with a couple friends. We managed to find a sweet spot to stand, in an open area so we could dance or move or whatever while worshipping. Well at one point, during a song, I was standing there, praying away, when I had this urge to kneel. Let me tell you, I have never in my life kneeled while praying before, not even as a kid, so I couldn't figure out where the urge had come from so I ignored it. But it didn't go away. By the end of the song my need to kneel was so huge that I had no choice, I knelt. It wasn't until I was on my knees that I realized, God had just spoken to me, quite clearly. It was pretty neat. But there is more.
So I'm kneeling there, in the middle of the concert, singing and praying and just having an amazing worship experience, when I figure, well, since He started it, lets see if He will speak to me again. So I prayed just what the speaker suggested, I asked God what He had to tell me. It was pretty quick that the answer popped into my mind, 'I love you' but I wasn't convinced it was His voice, and not just myself hoping thats what He had to say. So I did something that I am not sure you are supposed to do, I tested God. I told Him, 'Ok God, if that was you, I want to see some proof. I want a hug, then I will know it was you and not just me wishfully thinking of what I wanted to hear'.
Perhaps that seems like an odd thing to ask for, but there is a little behind the scenes story to that. There is this Sunday evening youth service that I love to go to. Its at a Pentecostal church, and although I don't think it has a denomination, it has really taught me alot about worshipping to God and how He is the focus, ignore what is going on around you. There was a time last fall that while worshipping at this church, I was praying and I felt a breeze. My first thought was unexplicable- it felt like God was telling me He was with me, but I instantly dismissed that, opened my eyes and looked at the doors behind me. They were closed. Not closing, but closed. They hadn't been opened. Weird. So I went back to praying and pretty quickly after that, I felt like I was being hugged, but there wasn't a person hugging me, and I realized that I had got a hug from God.
So now here I am, at Breakforth, months later, and looking for confirmation, I test God by asking for a hug. While I felt something around me, it was nothing like the last time, but I accepted it and went back to worship. Well a short while later, one of my friends gets a phone call and goes running out, with no explaination. After being gone for a bit, he comes back, along with one of my good friends who has moved to Calgary. I didn't know he was in town, but he had just heard that I was there, so he comes running in and hugs me. Yep. A good friend of mine, someone I had no idea was around, within like 15 mins of my asking God for a hug, comes running in an gives me a massive hug. It was pretty cool.
One more thing. Some of you might know that I have applied for social work in the fall. Not sure that I will get in, but it feels great to know I have applied. But it has kinda been a wonder for me if it was something I am doing because I want to do it, or because it is where God wants me to be. So naturally, the last couple months I have often asked Him if I was pointed on the right path. With this whole, listening to God thing, I thought, Huh... Now is as good of a time as any. Well, throughout the weekend, there were 5 breakout session times. 4 of the sessions I attended were based on worship, but the 5th was different. It was titled silence the roar and from my understanding it was about fighting poverty in our world. So I went to it, no idea what was going to happen. Well, the speaker, Tom Davis, gets up front and tells us that he is the President of an organization called Children's Hope Chest (www.hopechest.org). An organization that works with orphanages throughout the world. Yep. International Orphanage work. Sound like something that just might interest me? So afterwards, my cousin and I go up to him to ask what sorta education suits working in the field with them. His response? 'Child psychologists and social workers are definitely good ones' and I thought, huh. Guess I am pointed in the right direction.
That wasn't the end of it. That evening at the Michael W Smith concert/worship was another powerful God moment, something that showed He was listening and responding to my prayers, but I wont bother you with the details. Needless to say, it truly was an unbelievable weekend, one that God was present at, and one that has definitely shown me that God wants to talk to us, He just needs us to listen, even if sometimes all He wants to say is "I Love You"
God Bless
Breakforth 2009 was a God thing. Literally, by the end of the weekend, I feel as if I had seen Him everywhere and had spoken with Him on multiple occasions. Huh? Let me explain.
Breakforth is a large annual conference held in Edmonton. It focus's on many areas both within and outside of the church, worship, leadership, working with kids, poverty, and on and on. This year, more than 7000 ppl attended and were fortunate to have not only great breakout sessions, but some amazing speakers in the main sessions as well. Not to mention some unbelievable worship! (Michael W Smith, Brian Doerksen, Paul Baloche, Rita Baloche, Mercy Me, Brenton Brown, just to name a few). If you are curious, check out their website http://www.new-creation.net/ .
Anyways, so one of the speakers early in the conference really hit home with me. He was talking about how prayer shouldn't be a speech at God. It shouldn't be all about us talking to Him and Him simply listening and then filling our requests. No, it should be so much more. He explained that it should be a conversation. Huh? A conversation? With God? Ya, I thought it was pretty out there too, but wow have I learnt better!
This speaker (sorry, I can't recal what one it was, perhaps John Eldridge?) explained how the best way to converse with God is to completely empty your mind, don't think about the phone call you made to your sister last night, or that bill you have to mail tomorrow, just empty your mind and focus on God. Then comes the hard part, listen. Sure you can still pray, say your piece, get it all out there, but when you are done, sit and wait to see if He has anything to say back. Or ask Him a question, something simple, like 'what do you want to say to me'. That was His example, and it seems that alot of the time, he simply hears God responding with 'I Love You'. The speaker went on to say that part of being a Christian is having heard God's voice, so naturally the rest of the weekend would be filled with moments of listening.
I will freely admit, at first, I thought he was nuts. I mean, you can't hear God. But why not? He has done alot of pretty amazing things, talking to someone is cakewalk. But I gave it a try, needlessly it seemed.
Then something changed. And this is hard for me to share on here, but I really feel like I need to get it all out there. On Saturday night, I was at the Brenton Brown concert with a couple friends. We managed to find a sweet spot to stand, in an open area so we could dance or move or whatever while worshipping. Well at one point, during a song, I was standing there, praying away, when I had this urge to kneel. Let me tell you, I have never in my life kneeled while praying before, not even as a kid, so I couldn't figure out where the urge had come from so I ignored it. But it didn't go away. By the end of the song my need to kneel was so huge that I had no choice, I knelt. It wasn't until I was on my knees that I realized, God had just spoken to me, quite clearly. It was pretty neat. But there is more.
So I'm kneeling there, in the middle of the concert, singing and praying and just having an amazing worship experience, when I figure, well, since He started it, lets see if He will speak to me again. So I prayed just what the speaker suggested, I asked God what He had to tell me. It was pretty quick that the answer popped into my mind, 'I love you' but I wasn't convinced it was His voice, and not just myself hoping thats what He had to say. So I did something that I am not sure you are supposed to do, I tested God. I told Him, 'Ok God, if that was you, I want to see some proof. I want a hug, then I will know it was you and not just me wishfully thinking of what I wanted to hear'.
Perhaps that seems like an odd thing to ask for, but there is a little behind the scenes story to that. There is this Sunday evening youth service that I love to go to. Its at a Pentecostal church, and although I don't think it has a denomination, it has really taught me alot about worshipping to God and how He is the focus, ignore what is going on around you. There was a time last fall that while worshipping at this church, I was praying and I felt a breeze. My first thought was unexplicable- it felt like God was telling me He was with me, but I instantly dismissed that, opened my eyes and looked at the doors behind me. They were closed. Not closing, but closed. They hadn't been opened. Weird. So I went back to praying and pretty quickly after that, I felt like I was being hugged, but there wasn't a person hugging me, and I realized that I had got a hug from God.
So now here I am, at Breakforth, months later, and looking for confirmation, I test God by asking for a hug. While I felt something around me, it was nothing like the last time, but I accepted it and went back to worship. Well a short while later, one of my friends gets a phone call and goes running out, with no explaination. After being gone for a bit, he comes back, along with one of my good friends who has moved to Calgary. I didn't know he was in town, but he had just heard that I was there, so he comes running in and hugs me. Yep. A good friend of mine, someone I had no idea was around, within like 15 mins of my asking God for a hug, comes running in an gives me a massive hug. It was pretty cool.
One more thing. Some of you might know that I have applied for social work in the fall. Not sure that I will get in, but it feels great to know I have applied. But it has kinda been a wonder for me if it was something I am doing because I want to do it, or because it is where God wants me to be. So naturally, the last couple months I have often asked Him if I was pointed on the right path. With this whole, listening to God thing, I thought, Huh... Now is as good of a time as any. Well, throughout the weekend, there were 5 breakout session times. 4 of the sessions I attended were based on worship, but the 5th was different. It was titled silence the roar and from my understanding it was about fighting poverty in our world. So I went to it, no idea what was going to happen. Well, the speaker, Tom Davis, gets up front and tells us that he is the President of an organization called Children's Hope Chest (www.hopechest.org). An organization that works with orphanages throughout the world. Yep. International Orphanage work. Sound like something that just might interest me? So afterwards, my cousin and I go up to him to ask what sorta education suits working in the field with them. His response? 'Child psychologists and social workers are definitely good ones' and I thought, huh. Guess I am pointed in the right direction.
That wasn't the end of it. That evening at the Michael W Smith concert/worship was another powerful God moment, something that showed He was listening and responding to my prayers, but I wont bother you with the details. Needless to say, it truly was an unbelievable weekend, one that God was present at, and one that has definitely shown me that God wants to talk to us, He just needs us to listen, even if sometimes all He wants to say is "I Love You"
God Bless
Monday, February 02, 2009
Coffee Shop Conversations (yeah, I listened in)
I had a couple of really interesting experiences last week. On two occasions, I spent a few hours at a local Second Cup, working on various papers. I discovered that it is a really good place to work because there are outlets, they don't mind if you sit for a while, and I don't have any wireless connection, so no distractions. Needless to say, its a productive process so far and I intend to utilize it more often this semester. Anyways...
So Tuesday, I am sitting in the Second Cup, completely focused on my personal essay, answering questions in essay form as part of my Social Work packet (did I mention that I applied?) and when I look up. On the otherside of the store (restaurant? coffee shop?) there is a table with two men sitting at it. One is looks to be in his late 50's early 60's and the other in his mid to late 20's. No big deal right? But what grabbed at me, what really caught my attention, is that they were praying together. And not just a quick, hey, bless my coffee, amen, but an full out prayer. I don't know how long they had been praying before I looked up. But I sat and watched for almost 5 mins before they lifted their heads, unfolded their hands, cleared their table, and left. I was moved. For some reason it just really touched a chord in me.
Then on Friday. I am back at the same Second Cup (I highly recommend the White Hot Chocolate with Whipped Cream), sitting at a different spot. Working on a 1 1/2 page reflection question answer, and a 5-6 page book report on Sidney Crosby (for my Sport Sociology class). When I sat down, there were these three little ladies sitting at the table next to me. I didn't intend to eavsedrop, it just sort of happened, but these three ladies, who had be to late 60's at the youngest, were talking about the recent engagement of, one of them! It was so sweet to sit there and listen to a woman who had to be around 70 years old, talk with such excitement about her engagement. At one point, while she was in the bathroom, her companions sat and discussed how excited they were for her, how she deserved it, after being widowed so long, how her kids are grown up, and she is such a sweet woman. They figured the wedding would be packed because everyone from the lady's church would want to go because she was so well loved. And I honestly sat there, for the second time in a week, completely moved by something going on in a world that I have no part in.
I intend to write a blog about BREAKFORTH, the conference I went to this weekend, but my thoughts aren't quite organized on it yet. A part of me wonders if these two little events were somewhat a gift from God, having me take the time to sit back and appreciate the little things in life, to move my mind, heart, and soul and reach me by demonstrating His love for people, and people's devotion to Him. But I suppose I shall get into that later...
Have a great day! An amazing week! I'll try write about Breakforth soon =)
So Tuesday, I am sitting in the Second Cup, completely focused on my personal essay, answering questions in essay form as part of my Social Work packet (did I mention that I applied?) and when I look up. On the otherside of the store (restaurant? coffee shop?) there is a table with two men sitting at it. One is looks to be in his late 50's early 60's and the other in his mid to late 20's. No big deal right? But what grabbed at me, what really caught my attention, is that they were praying together. And not just a quick, hey, bless my coffee, amen, but an full out prayer. I don't know how long they had been praying before I looked up. But I sat and watched for almost 5 mins before they lifted their heads, unfolded their hands, cleared their table, and left. I was moved. For some reason it just really touched a chord in me.
Then on Friday. I am back at the same Second Cup (I highly recommend the White Hot Chocolate with Whipped Cream), sitting at a different spot. Working on a 1 1/2 page reflection question answer, and a 5-6 page book report on Sidney Crosby (for my Sport Sociology class). When I sat down, there were these three little ladies sitting at the table next to me. I didn't intend to eavsedrop, it just sort of happened, but these three ladies, who had be to late 60's at the youngest, were talking about the recent engagement of, one of them! It was so sweet to sit there and listen to a woman who had to be around 70 years old, talk with such excitement about her engagement. At one point, while she was in the bathroom, her companions sat and discussed how excited they were for her, how she deserved it, after being widowed so long, how her kids are grown up, and she is such a sweet woman. They figured the wedding would be packed because everyone from the lady's church would want to go because she was so well loved. And I honestly sat there, for the second time in a week, completely moved by something going on in a world that I have no part in.
I intend to write a blog about BREAKFORTH, the conference I went to this weekend, but my thoughts aren't quite organized on it yet. A part of me wonders if these two little events were somewhat a gift from God, having me take the time to sit back and appreciate the little things in life, to move my mind, heart, and soul and reach me by demonstrating His love for people, and people's devotion to Him. But I suppose I shall get into that later...
Have a great day! An amazing week! I'll try write about Breakforth soon =)
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