Funny How It Is

I kinda think its funny.
Huh? Say what?
Ok, you're right. That doesn't make sense. I kinda think life is funny.
A little clearer, but still not crystal?
I kinda think life is funny how it never actully gets figured out.
Explain?
I'll try...

I have sweet news. I think I know what I want to do with my life! Yay! I have seriously been waiting for this moment for like- I don't know, has to be almost a decade. But yep, I have figured it out and shall now be set for life.
Cept not. Does it ever work that way? It can never be so simple.
Not making sense.
Let me explain better...
I am going to go into Social Work. There. I said it. Now I can't change my mind- or if I do I have to explain it better. I finally realized that social work is the perfect fit for me. No I am not sure what area I want to get into, and to be honest, am not sure when I want to start, but I am going to do it, and sooner rather than later(I used to figure that I'd go into it after I had kids that were in school and all of that).
Why Social work?
Well. I love people. I love kids. I love to help people. I love being able to see someone smile, especially if it is a smile I had a part in creating. I love trying to set things right. I love listening and trying to help people with their problems. Some of the most amazing experiences in my life have included Haiti, The Dream Center, the kids in Mexico, and knowing that things I said or did have made a positive impact on someones life. So I suddenly realized it made sense and there really isn't a reason to put it off another 20 years. I want to do it, so I am going into social work.
Thats it. That is the realization I have been waiting for.

But its not it.
Why not?
Cause now there are other questions.
Like???
Like right now. I am just finishing a semester of three courses aimed at a Sociology Degree. Am planning (but not certain) that next semester will be two courses (while working for sure one, maybe 2 PT jobs) and so by the end of April, I will be complete a year and a half of a 3 year BA in Sociology. Now I am sure at that some people might be sitting there and thinking- when did she start again? Yes. I started in Sept of 05, so in theory I could be finished a 4 year degree at the end of April, or if I had gone right after high school, I'd of been in the work force for 8 months already... But that isn't me, and I'm not sorry. I've loved my chance at Missions and travelling, I've enjoyed my work with the J and learnt alot with all of it.
So why is 1 1/2 years of a degree a problem?
Cause its half way. I feel like if I am going to get it done that far, I might as well finish it. I sorta want to if I really think about it. Have an actual degree with my name on it. So the question becomes when? Do I keep going with the Soci degree, probably taking another 2- 2 1/2 years to finish it, or do I leave it be at the end of April, go into Social Work for two years, and then pick it up again after? Now the question isn't what do I want to do, it is, the sociology degree- before or after the Social Work Diploma? Ahh, conundrums in life...
So is that it?
No. Is it ever?
What else?
Its dumb, its that other part of me. The part of me that looks at what I just wrote and thinks- if you are going to do another 3 1/2 years worth of schooling (and probably take more than that to do it), when the heck are you going to travel some more? How are you going to afford it? When are you going to do something with your life other than being a student? Nothing against being a student, but it drives me nuts, there is no freedom, no choice, its so structured, there are so many rules, everything has to fit into someone else's schedule and it just gets in the way of having a life. There is always reading, or studying, or a paper to write, or research to do, or well you get the picture. So when am I going to travel, or make money to live, or move out, or save up, or eventually even grow up. Being a student makes me feel like a kid. Sure it is university, but people assume you don't know about the world when you are a student and truth is, I don't really know about the world right now so its legit.
And thats just the tip of it. What about the rest of life? Sure, I feel like I have figured out what I want to do, but where? And when? What about other parts of my life that just don't feel complete either? Can't I just figure those things out? How do I do it? God and love and faith and friends and family and the man out there somewhere that God intends me to find... there are so many other questions that I can't believe when I finally answer one I've been asking for years, its like my mind doesn't even take the time to celebrate, nope, its already moved on to stressing about other things (besides the 2 finals and the paper that I have barely started all happening later this week).

Not going to lie to you. Being 22 is nothing like I ever thought it would be like. Best times of my life? When I find them, I'll let you know. Cause it sure doesn't seem to be now.