Tis the Season..

Not that season. Although if you think about it, that one is just around the corner. It is the season of school. The time of year when students throughout the Northern Hemisphere( and actually for the next few months the Southern Hemisphere as well) settle back into their desks and once again suffer daily from writers cramps. The time of year when the alarm clock doesn't mean, time to go make a dollar, but instead means, time to switch where you are sleeping to a classroom... Ok perhaps its not that bad.
But yes. I have gone back to school. Whoop de do right? And you are right to a point if that is what you are thinking. But I have returned to Kings, returned to sitting in classes, following along, reading the texts, writing papers. And I really don't know how I feel about it.
This time around I am a sociology major. Which really doesn't mean much. Did you know that technically speaking, it is my fourth major at Kings. I applied for a Bachelor of Music, but quickly realized that wasn't for me and a few hours later changed to Psychology- cause that is what everyone takes. First semester passed with no psych class, but second semester, I didn't enjoy my intro Psych class. So the next fall I came back as an English major- but somewhere during my middle ages British Literature Class, when we were reading a story written in the 13th Century and I had no idea what it said and we had to do a 10 page essay on it... I figured that perhaps I wasn't meant to be an English major either. So this time around, its been a year and a half since I've been in school, and I am giving it another go as a Sociology major this time around. We shall see how it goes.
I am in three courses- which yes, is still technically full time. Research Methods, History, and Sociology of Gender. I think, once I get caught up, I will be ok. But within the next month or so, I promise I wont feel so optimistic about it. I have most definitely realized that perhaps school really isn't for me. I don't like it. Any of it really.
Thats not true, I don't mind the new knowledge- although I hate how I have to get it. I don't like the homework, the reading of dry material, the papers and research projects, the book reports, and the old and terrible movies you watch in class. I don't like sitting through lectures of what someone says is important, writing quizes and exams on it, and then- lets be honest here- within a few days have no idea what I wrote the test about. I don't like the games played by the student population. I hate trying to fit in, to not be on the outside looking in, but to not lose myself in the process. I hate watching people get shut out, or even experiencing it myself, and feeling that there is nothing that can be done about it, because when it is all said and done, we are human.
But, somehow, here I sit, working on a paper, dreading all the reading I have to do, bracing myself for IS to start tomorrow, trying to rack my brain for a research topic that is worthy of my attention this semester. Its hot and sunny outside, yet somehow I sit here, quietly alone in the AC of the SAC, bundled in a sweater, procrastinating rather then actually focusing and finishing my paper... Ahh... The life of a student...